It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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