I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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