I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
