I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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