it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
