I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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