Do you still have your period?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
