Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
