All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
