Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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