i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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