I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
