Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
