I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
