You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I need moral support for this bender
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
