Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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