So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i believe in u and ur pee
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
