Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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