Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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