I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
