best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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