yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
