so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So vagazzling was a success
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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