the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
