my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
