yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
high people should be assigned attendants
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
