I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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