A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
