We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if only i could text you this smell
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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