I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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