why didn't you poke me back
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She even gives head with a lisp.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think my moral compass just broke
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