Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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