Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
