i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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