That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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