So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
