So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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