I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
