i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
