i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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