Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
