He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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