ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
