Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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