This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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