Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
