Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
