I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
