I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Someone stole a lamp last night.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
