I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
