How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
