Do you still have your period?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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